The simple life

My calendar used to be so full, I would schedule down time in blocks as an activity. I would go crazy otherwise. I love one on one time, and I love group hang out time. I also hate missing out on things. I remember thinking, "Meagan, this is crazy, you are exhausted, why are you pushing so hard and over committing?!"  Then the fear of there being fun out in the world that I could be a part of, and I am missing out would creep in.  That this time might be THE time something exceptional happens, and I would have missed it!  That this time could be the time I meet Mr. Right, or the next best amazing thing to change my life.  Maybe even, that this crazy busy schedule will work to keep me so distracted, my reality actually will magically be different.  I remember a few times a year and a half ago telling myself point blank- sleep is for the dead.   Then I hit burn out.  I crashed HARD. Right before my foot surgery, I pulled myself out of every activity and resigned from all positions except volunteering to be a door greeter at church.  I went from 100mph to about 15.   Shortly after was the foot surgery, which required me to be out of things functionally.  I thought, wow God, look at how amazing your timing is!  I thought I would get a good break, "rest up", and be ready to hit it 100mph again as soon as the foot healed.

That was then.   Fast forward to now. 

Life is so different now! Its not better or worse, it fits how I feel physically so in that way it is just right. For the first time I think in my life after 5th grade, I am not in any leadership role, I am not on any committee, I am not a regular volunteer of anything.   And, Praise the Lord! I don't have the energy to keep up. I have about 2 hours of activity (any activity) in me a weekend day, then I need a 2 hour nap, and to rest the rest of the day.  Weeknight evenings, I have to push really hard to make myself do anything. I never feel "up to it", I am not sure I ever will after working a full day, until I go into RA remission.  But even so, there are a few things I want to do, and I think coming at it from the KISS perspective (urban dictionary that acronym if you don't know it), it doesn't have to be overwhelming. Right now that is the Wed night Ruth Bible study class.  Last week my joints were screaming at me, and I had to go right to bed after work. I am hoping, though, that is not my norm.  Going out on one weeknight during the week doesn't seem to be too much. And, I kinda like the simple life. Very simple.  My hobbies are IMAGO art (once a month for 2 hours) and this Ruth class. That's it, but I like it. It leaves room for the random once in a while get together, AND, I feel like I am able to get into both and do both well. 

The days of late night dinners, movies at 9 or 10pm sun nights, all day outings on Saturdays, concerts, Miller Outdoor Sunday activities, ministry work on weekends, sports seasons, all might be something that, when I reach remission, I could do. Today, I am trying to just go to my singles Bible study class tonight. That is all, because I went grocery shopping earlier, and needed a 2 hour nap to recover.  :)   It is slightly ridiculous, but, I did have a good run at trying to do every single thing I possibly could at one time back in the day. Now my no muscle must be strong, and the yes to come after careful consideration.