I had a rough night last night, and was super tired, so I decided that I needed to take a vacation day today. I wasn't feeling ill last night, just I the normal joint pain and fatigue, but I was getting overwhelmed with the responsibility, reality and fears of RA. I decided to voice all my fears and frustrations in an email to a friend. One thing I have been noticing about me is that I am truly very joyful and optimistic, but in that, my emotions get dismissed that need to be processed! So, I wrote my fears without adding explanations or conditions to each after, like how I know God says other wise, or how I know its not logical, or how I know I can't predict the future. All true things, and, I still feel this way, so I just wrote.
How flippin cathartic. I highly suggest writing all your fears, frustrations, angers, and not allow yourself to qualify them right after. Just sit in it to feel it and process through it!
Anyway. So, just because I wanted a break in general, I took today off. I decided what I needed after a night like last night was chocolate chip waffles, lots of sleep, and a manicure. I made chocolate chip waffles (and enjoyed every bit of the "bad for joint inflammation" sugar and refined flour in them), slept about 4 hours worth of naps, and got my nails re-shallacked.
I rounded out tonight with going to see a dear friend teach a new 7 week class on Ruth. Love love love.
I feel much better. My world really isn't ending :) Lots of unknowns, but I know its not ending.
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