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Today is one of those days. I think pain and the feeling of futility go hand in hand many times because it can be so hard to get out of the immediate here and now when something hurts.  I caught myself running through scenarios of staying in bed all day, sleeping all day and night, just existing, a few times today. That is not what I really desire, of course. At all! What I desire to be free from this migraine. Sleeping all day seems to be a way to hibernate through till something else comes later, relief or a better distraction.   The challenge is to keep walking the journey even though. And then I fight that concept, because I am tired and I hurt, and then come to the same conclusion that all I can do is keep walking even though. Circle, but still a circle in motion at least.

First, who knows when it will end, so what a waste of life to give up on a gamble of "soon", too much life to miss out on. Second, it doesn't solve anything. The pain is still there whether I want it to be or not.  Third, it seems to be a big aspect of the human condition.  There is nothing new about the concept of chronic pain. I wonder if Jesus had chronic physical pain? Or a season of it. (obviously the cross).  I wonder if during the pain of the cross, and the whole beating up to it, even in the garden, if Jesus ever got depressed....  Despair beyond hope, of course not, ever. But that feeling of seriously thinking your abilities have been over-estimated. I guess the answer to that is a duh, yes. Because apart from God we can do nothing. So of course  Jesus, and each of us, have felt that.

The trick then is believing that God will renew your strength. We know He can renew our strength, and will every time we ask, that is not the variable.  The variable is if we believe it and act on that belief.  A challenge every single day man, sometimes more than once a day.